Sunday, March 21, 2010

The Story Behind the Little Blue Lights

Today is the first day of spring! I noticed the birds chirping in the early morning yesterday with new beginnings or life, and our little ones are now about thirteen and a half weeks.

Crystal was in India and saw the scan of the babies on the day they turned into their 2nd trimester. I was very excited that she was there! It felt in essence that it was my eyes watching. She said that all looked well, and the babies looked strong. I had sent a package to Pannaben with gifts. She was able to give it to her. My friend Tony is going in April and so we are sending a smaller package again.

On my altar I have four pictures of the moon that I had taken last year (March 9, 2009) when I went to visit Crystal and my dear friend Neha, both of whom, to my chagrin, live on the East Coast. At that time, I was just not sure how I would pay for the surrogacy. My practice had dropped alot when I took off for maternity leave with Uma, and with the economy, money was tight. As always, the trip was just magical and I had resolved, deep in my heart, that somehow, I would find a way.

On the day I was supposed to leave, Neha and I got into some deep talking. Both of us literally flaked (very uncharacteristic of both of us) on how much time I would need to get to the airport and on the plane, and indeed, Uma and I ended up missing our plane. As we were driving back from the airport, we looked up and noticed the most amazing moon either of us had ever seen! It had rings and rings of color around it. Saturn, was placed dirctly below it and was shining brightly. With our camera's we both attempted to take a picture, but neither of us could capture the rings of color. My camera captured a bright white moon with beautiful Saturn below. Her camera captured, for whatever reason, captured the pictures you see to the right. There were four of them, each so interesting looking, almost like sperm and ovaries!

Neha and I started to talk about my dreams of surrogacy. I told her how I used to feed crows on Saturday for a whole year because Saturn in the planet in my vedic house of children, which causes fertility problems. In order to remedy this, vedic astrology had me saying a Saturn mantra and feeding crows. So it was very significant to me that the planet Saturn was actually there. It was a rare occurance, and had we not missed our plane, I never would have seen it.

I also told her how over the years of disappointment in trying to have a baby, everytime I would get discouraged, I would somehow either find a crow's feather, or suddenly see a blotch of beautiful blue light. I would feel in my heart that it was a message from my spirit baby to keep on trying. One time, I even had this light appear in the form of a discharge after my ovulation wa over. If it was not such a beautiful color, I would have been alarmed!

As I was telling Neha the story, she said, "wouldn't it be amazing if the blue light showed up in the photos?" I agreed it would be. We both looked at each other, and decided to check. Sure enough, under one of the photos, there was the blue light! When I got home, I noticed that a blue light had appeared under a second photo. Both Neha and I swear that it was not there initially! Unfortunately, you practically need a magnifying glass to see the lights in the photos posted here, but they are very clearly seen in the pictures on my altar.

I felt deep in my heart that this time the blue light was again affirming that I should not give up. I vowed as I flew back on the plane the next day that somehow I would find a way. Miraculously, within three weeks after that, my practice literally tripled!

And now here we are...!

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